


You Make Me Feel Like I am Young Again

by gaycf



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Pining, Time Skips, it's not mentioned but stan lives too, it's short but sweet, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:16:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26658808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaycf/pseuds/gaycf
Summary: Growing up, Eddie is everywhere.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	You Make Me Feel Like I am Young Again

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't as long as i'd like it to be but it's the first thing I've written in two years that I've actually finished so.... here we are  
> it also hasn't been beta's because everyone i trust to do so is asleep and i'm impatient  
> the title is from the cure's "lovesong"  
> i hope you enjoy!

Richie was nine years old when he met Eddie. Some kids had roughed him up at the playground and threw away his inhaler. Bill, friendly as ever, saw this as an opportunity to recruit a new friend into their group. Stan and Richie had been reluctant at first. It's not every day that you add someone new to a group of friends that had been established for as long as they could remember. Richie was a bit of a dick at first- he won't lie. But, Eddie took it well and was just as much a dick right back. Within a day, they were bickering away like they'd known each other forever. Eddie fell into step with their group dynamic in no time. It wasn't long before Richie began considering Eddie a best friend.

Richie was fourteen when he and his friends beat Pennywise for the first time. It was simultaneously the worst thing that had ever happened to him and the best in terms of creating an unbreakable bond with a group of people.  
That summer was a lot. Meeting Bev, Ben, and Mike, Richie's budding understanding of his feelings for Eddie, the fucking demon clown thing that was hell-bent on killing him and his friends, and so on. You could see why that would put a lot of stress on a child's shoulders.  
And yet, Richie was able to push through that last part with the help of his friends. It's funny how almost getting killed with some people can bond you for life.  
The Eddie thing, though, was not so easy to deal with. Unlike the Pennywise situation, he didn't have six other people to talk to when things got tough to process.  
He kept it tucked away as far as he could inside of himself. All there was to show for his gay feelings for his best friend was a small "r+e" carved into the kissing bridge. And as far as he was concerned, that's all there ever would be.

Richie was almost sixteen when he learned Melanie Cooper had a crush on Eddie. He didn't like the poisonous feeling that filled his chest every time he saw her after that. She was sweet and didn't care for the social climate of high school that should have scared her away from any of Richie's friends. She wasn't exactly the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, but that didn't matter much. She never did anything to make Richie dislike her, but he couldn't help it.  
Eddie had said many times to the Losers that he didn't like her like that. And yet, Richie couldn't help imagining Eddie and Melanie walking down the halls of their school hand-in-hand, and his stomach would feel weak.  
Melanie moved away from Derry the summer after that year. Richie tried his best not to think about it again.

Richie was eighteen and about to graduate from high school. Things were rapidly coming to a close as everyone started planning their exits from the only town they'd ever known (other than Ben). Richie had managed to land a scholarship to a college in Chicago and an internship at a popular radio station. Eddie had convinced his mom to let him go to New York University. Stanley was attending New York State. Bev was also going to New York in hopes of pursuing fashion design. Bill was going to the Univerity of Maine. Mike said he was going to stay in Derry for a bit longer, then go to Florida.  
None of them had heard from Ben since he moved to Nebraska.  
As much as he wanted to simply focus on graduation and getting the fuck out of dodge, Richie was more conscious of his feelings for Eddie than ever. Everything about Eddie would pierce Richie right in the chest. Their fights for a turn in the hammock, Eddie's stupid red short shorts, the blush on his face when Bev would sneak alcohol into the clubhouse. He was a goner. All he could think about was Eddie.  
He hoped it would stop after he got on the plane for Chicago. 

Richie was forty-one years old when he returned to Derry. He was forty-one when he remembered he and his friends were tormented by an evil clown when he was a kid. He was forty-one when he realized that for the past twenty-some fucking years, he had forgotten the most significant people in his life.  
And, he was forty-one years old when he finally understood who that blank hole in his heart was. And that was terrifying.  
Richie was well aware that he had a lot of shit in his life that he should have probably seen a therapist for, even if he couldn't remember most of it. The constant bullying growing up, the near-death experience before he had even fully reached puberty, the whole "I'm gay, but I can't tell anyone because all I experienced growing up was the constant and deep-rooted hatred for anyone different instilled in everyone around me" thing. But nothing could have prepared him for the horror of watching his best friend and love of his life almost die in his arms.  
At that moment, he decided that he didn't care anymore. He wasn't letting Eddie go again, not without him knowing.  
So, Richie was forty-one years old when finally told Eddie he'd loved him since he knew what it meant to love someone.

Richie was forty-three when he looked up and finally knew what it was like to not regret anything. Eddie had just gotten home from work and taken a shower. The two of them were sprawled out on their shared couch in their shared living room in their shared home. Their dog was sitting on the floor, watching the tv with them as if she understood what was happening. They had a group facetime call planned for a few hours later to catch up with all the other Losers. As if they didn't all talk to each other any chance they got.  
All was well. He was happy, and he finally believed that he deserved to be.

**Author's Note:**

> uhh yeah  
> thank u for reading!! if you liked it please consider following my new twitter [@sidbrak](https://twitter.com/sidbrak)


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